It seems everyone wants to know how I feel about surgery. Well, it really depends on the day! The surgery itself I am sooooooo happy and thankful to finally be having. I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. On a daily basis, though, I go from being excited, to scared, to sad, to apprehensive, to happy, to nervous and so on. I literally feel EVERY single emotion when it comes to my surgery.
I worry alot about the side effects and just how my life is going to be so different in this upcoming year. All the new things I have to learn, first about my Ostomy bag and then about my J-Pouch itself. I worry that I may never be able to have kids since this surgery cuts your chances to 50%. I worry about the big ugly scars I will have all over my stomach. How they will be a constant reminder and how I'm sure people will ask about them whenever they see them. I worry about the blow to my self esteem when I have a "poop bag" hanging from my stomach....not very sexy, lol!
I like to think that I can handle all these inconveniences if it means that in 2014, after the full year of recovery, that I will once feel like I did before. I think about everything that I have been through and how off track this disease has made my life. I'm ready but at he same time I'm not, if that makes since :-) All and all I look forward to this new chapter of my life. I am happy that I made it this far and didn't give up all of the many times I wanted to. I am just ready LIVE. Not just breathing live, but loving life live :-)
November 26th is going to be my new birthday. Since it will be my re birth, its only fitting :-)
I worry alot about the side effects and just how my life is going to be so different in this upcoming year. All the new things I have to learn, first about my Ostomy bag and then about my J-Pouch itself. I worry that I may never be able to have kids since this surgery cuts your chances to 50%. I worry about the big ugly scars I will have all over my stomach. How they will be a constant reminder and how I'm sure people will ask about them whenever they see them. I worry about the blow to my self esteem when I have a "poop bag" hanging from my stomach....not very sexy, lol!
I like to think that I can handle all these inconveniences if it means that in 2014, after the full year of recovery, that I will once feel like I did before. I think about everything that I have been through and how off track this disease has made my life. I'm ready but at he same time I'm not, if that makes since :-) All and all I look forward to this new chapter of my life. I am happy that I made it this far and didn't give up all of the many times I wanted to. I am just ready LIVE. Not just breathing live, but loving life live :-)
November 26th is going to be my new birthday. Since it will be my re birth, its only fitting :-)
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